Because it’s Tuesday

       I propose to my girlfriend the second Tuesday of every month. She laughs and says no. I worried once she might think I was joking, so I asked if she knew I was serious, and she said she did. We’d been dating for 19th months and 17 days the first time I asked her to marry me, and had known each other for quite a bit before. It was the second Tuesday of the month when I first proposed, so that’s why. It’s been three years.
      I worry she doesn’t ever want to get married. I want kids, but she’s very non-committal. I say I’d do the majority of the parenting, but she says she’d still have to do all the being pregnant and giving birth. But I can’t imagine leaving her. I’m totally stuck on her. That’s why I propose marriage the second Monday of every month. Or was it Tuesday? I can’t remember.
      Hey, wanna go to the movies Friday? Yes, I said I’m stuck on her. I’d never leave her. But we could still have a relationship. I’d just put her in the closet where you wouldn’t see her. Out of sight, out of mind. We hardly talk anymore. It feels almost like I do all the talking, and I’m very quiet, as I think you can tell. What movie would you like to see?
       Don’t be mad. I was just joking. Not that you’re not a nice girl and all, but my girlfriend and I are very serious. I’m going to propose next Tuesday.

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